MIRROR TRUTHS

I stood there looking back at her; she wore an empty look, her eyes said nothing.
“It’s been a year,” I pleaded. Again, she said nothing. Her eyes, the same empty sockets of black, refusing to give away the emotions running through her- but one thing I could tell for sure, she was determined.
I bowed my head in defeat. I had lost this bout even before it started. My only argument was, ‘But I am happy.’ Hers, was the Truth.

It was over a year ago —
“I will survive...,” I had proclaimed, inspired by the Mariah Carey number, which won’t feature lower than No.5 on any of the popular break-up song charts. I had hummed that tune waiting in the BEST bus for the traffic to clear, I had sung it aloud (so loud, that the neighbours threatened to push for legal action against me if I indulged in such grave a crime again). At that time, it seemed to have worked for me. I had squeezed my memory dry of all the good times and filled up the void with hatred for the man. Voila, that was the refreshingly new, “ME”! I eagerly looked at myself in the mirror; confident of seeing a reflection of the thrill I was feeling. But as I stood there, I saw instead a straight-faced image; she wore an empty look, her eyes said nothing.

Months passed —
I refused to look into the mirror anymore, convinced it was lying. I knew I was happy, I could feel the rush of adrenalin to prove my worth to the world. I had a job I liked, and if that wasn’t enough I was even halfway decent at what I did. I made up with the friends I had almost lost, and indulged in my sole greatest passion – theatre.
It was at a performance in January that I met my to-be-husband’s mother. As he often teases me, “she went shopping to India and picked you up for me.” And although I refuse to believe it when he tells me, I know that is the truth.

It’s been 9 months since —
And I know I am happy to be loved the way I always wanted to be. I have a man who dotes on me, who truly wants to marry me. There are no secrets with him, and certainly no room for prejudices. There’s only the unfaltering commitment to each other and the other’s happiness.

I face the deceitful mirror again, this time, searching anxiously for the reflection of contentment. But it was the same haunting image staring at me. I stand there looking back at her; she wears an empty look, her eyes say nothing.